Wednesday, March 19, 2008

if only...

靖愷,這就是媽媽每天在做的白日夢:

如果我是全職媽媽,就不用擔心不能泵到足夠的奶。

如果我是全職媽媽,就不用在要上早班的日子,在早上五時多起床餵奶,又因時間關係在你未吃飽前強行將你的小咀拉出。

如果我是全職媽媽,就不用每天拖至最後一秒才離開家門,依依不捨的跟你告別,然後在上班的每一分每一秒掛念著你。

如果我是全職媽媽,就不用下班時用競步的速度趕到車站乘車回家,為求可以早一秒回到家中與你相聚。

如果我是全職媽媽,就不用害怕回到家時你已昏昏欲睡,沒有機會與你談談天,說說故事,唱唱歌。

如果我是全職媽媽,就可以多點讓你和公公婆婆相聚,不用他們透過那令畫面起格的視象鏡頭在電腦顯示屏上緊張地看你的一舉一動。

如果我是全職媽媽,就可以閒時與你上上圖書館,多發掘書中的寶藏。

如果我是全職媽媽,就可以閒時與你探探博物館,逛逛藝術館,讓你自小培養那速成不了的文化修養。

如果我是全職媽媽,就可以閒時與到市場逛逛看,認識食物在煮熟前的形態。

如果我是全職媽媽,就可以閒時與你在家中焗蛋糕和烤曲奇,感受麵團在爐中長大的奇妙,和美點在新鮮出爐時發出的香氣。

如果我是全職媽媽,就可以多與你東看西看,教你認識世上的美與善,醜和惡,不用害怕在你的小腦袋吸收知識最快的幾年,因為接收不到足夠的刺激而白白被浪費。有時候,媽媽真的很害怕,到你真的要認真讀書時,媽媽早出晚歸地工作,還會有時間幫你溫習功課嗎?到時候我們是要將教導你的責任,交由家教老師代勞嗎?

不過...如果我是全職媽媽,爸爸便要負起養活整家的重擔。生活又豈能盡如人意?是否只能說句 C'est la vie?

其實,我也不需要做全職媽媽,就讓我做個半職媽媽,或是在家工作的媽媽吧!幾年,幾年都已足夠。就在你最需要媽媽的那幾年,就在你仍願意倚在媽媽身旁的那幾年,讓媽媽給你所有的,所有的時間,和所有的,所有的愛。這個夢,有天會實現嗎?

嗯,靖愷近日終於學懂了叫媽媽,就在片段中的第37秒...我想,大概就是他的那聲"媽媽"令我仍有動力每天拖著身軀上班吧!?

7 comments:

Vivian said...

So touching! Really open up my imagination to all those things that we can do with our little ones when they are 18 months or so and can understand even more than they do now!

I am also debating if I should work part-time or be a stay-home mum, especially there is someone at work whom I really do not want to work with...

btw, was the video taken at the Starbucks near AIA Plaza and Manulife building in Fortress Hill? I used to go there all the time too.. :)

amy said...

yes vivian, that's where the starbucks we go all the time for brunch during weekends as we live pretty nearby. don't hesitate to come up and say hi if you happen to see us there someday! :P

KAMBAYASHI said...

Amy, thanks for putting your thoughts into words and share with us all. I admire a lot with your courage and strength. Keep up your good work, u have a wonderful family.

(I think by now, that Starbuck has Rafael's fingerprint all over, consider having him work part-time there when he gets older, so u can have discount drinks...)

amy said...

thank you sabrina :)

yeah it will be great if rafael can be a coffee master! hmm... yummy! :)

amy said...

btw sabrina, it was you who had all the courage and strength to leave everything behind just to take care of yoshi! ganbatte ne!

Sandy So said...

amy, i really hope your dream will come true!

Mac said...

sandy, i am sure amy's dream will come true... maybe 20 years later... hehe : P