private time

別的媽媽可能會有nesting instinct，我有的大概是play instinct。這次有helper幫忙清潔預備，我更好放肆在坐月前好好去享受一下。

產假放了一週，沒有一天呆在家中。上星期一至四跟爸媽和好友吃午飯，星期五留給自己，獨自到電影院看了the private lives of pippa lee。其餘空檔用來烤麵包、學習縫紉、為靖愷的暑假活動搜集資料、還為買了良久的ukulele調了音，按書學彈了幾個chord... 跟著每天下午4時45分準時接靖愷放學。有自己的空間，又不缺親子時間，夢寐以求的完美生活大概就是如此。

had a full week of maternity leave already and i had been trying my best to pamper myself before i have to deal with the newborn routines again. lunch dates with my parents and best friends, a movie at the threatre (how i missed it!!!), baking, sewing, and even self-learning ukulele... and the best of all was, i could send rafael to school and pick him up every day. what a dream-come-true week for me.

countdown

三十七週，產假前最後一天工作日。

肚圍已達43寸，肚子脹得像要爆裂；腳真的開始腫起來，腳眼已不見了：總的來說，毫無吸引力可言，不過身形龐大的好處是，近日乘地鐵，幾乎每次都有人讓座。

heather的體重預計已有六磅半，相信出生時的體重會超越哥哥，頭也頗大，醫生不建議順產，已安排於三十九週剖腹生產。靖愷是順產不成功繼而緊急剖腹出生的，爸爸不能陪產，這次爸爸可以陪同一起經歷整個生產過程，不知道會不會嚇壞？:P

爸爸要到入院前一天才正式開始放假，heather，你記緊要好好的多待一會兒，讓我可以有充足準備、讓我可以多給一點私人時間予哥哥、讓我可以在你出生前和爸爸有一天二人世界啊！親愛的，我們很快就會見面！: )

yes it's really the final countdown. i'm 37 weeks pregnant and it's my last day of work before my maternity leave.

heather should be around 6.5 pounds already and have a rather big head. with my previous c-section, the doctor recommends another c-section and has already scheduled one in 39 weeks.

mac's leave is only going to start one day before my admittance to the hospital. so our dear heather, please hang in there for a while and have a little more patience! with my exploding tummy, i just can't wait to see you but i'd really like to have some more last-minute private moments with your daddy and brother! see you soon my dear.

while daddy's away

在我懷孕36週的時候，爸爸這個月第三次出差。

雖然靖愷在我肚內逾期居留了一天，但有幾個朋友的孩子都早了出來，總有點擔心，heather如果在爸爸不在的時候突然要出來，那怎麼辦？

i'm 36 weeks pregnant and mac went to china for business for the third time this month. i couldn't help but worry, what am i going to do if heather decided to come out while daddy's away?

heather

一直擔心醫生會不會弄錯孩子的性別。35週了，上星期檢查時醫生還說是個女的，應該不會錯了吧？

兩個孩子的名字都是爸爸取的。女兒的英文名是Heather，中文名還沒有改好。

我對名字沒有太大意見，後來上網查過heather原來是有剌的野花，常長於山石間。

可以保護自己又生命力強的小野花，我喜歡。

it was daddy who decided the names for both kids, and our baby girl will be named heather - small shrubs with pink or white flowers (with spiky leaves) which commonly grow in rocky areas.

hmm, i like that these flowers are able to protect themselves and can still thrive under undesirable conditions.


(photo source: Torga-ordinária // Heather (Calluna vulgaris), distributed using creative commons licence)

maternity leave

倒數還有不足一個月便放產假。公司對於女同事放悠長產假早已習以為常，所以老闆沒給我半點留難。家裡兩位男士對於我的產假倒是持不同意見。

***

我：我決定產假後放三個月大假，到十月中才上班。

mac：那你放完假後還剩多少假期？

我：十天左右吧。

mac：那如果孩子有甚麼事突然要請假那怎麼辦？十月初就上班好了。

***

我：媽媽生妹妹時，五月中會開始放假，到十月才上班，有四個多月可以天天陪著你，你說好不好？

靖愷（扁扁嘴）：不好，你十月也不要上班。

***

最後決定是，十月初就上班，兩星期後趁靖愷學校放mid-term break時再放一星期，希望一家四口都會滿意這個安排！

i'm happily counting down to my maternity leave (less than 1 month to go!) and i'm making plans to make the best use of it. but at the same time i can imagine that i will be totally depressed (like last time) when i need to return to work again. well, there's still hope. who knows? maybe we'll win the lottery during my leave and i can be a full-time mom forever!

old cafe

趁妹妹未出世，還不用擔心座位舒適不舒適，我們趕快帶靖愷到大牌檔呀冰室呀，吃我們喜歡那舊時的味道。美中不足的，是我大概還要戒奶茶好一段日子吧！

we like bringing rafael to old hongkong-style cafes, before #2 comes out and we need to worry about whether the place is baby-friendly again. sometimes it's not really so much about the taste, but the memories that don't come with starbucks or pacific coffee.

shopping spree

H&M大減價，忍不住給妹妹買了幾件衣服。三件上衣一件小外套，加起來才$110。

不想妹妹變成粉紅色公仔，所以忍手只買了一件粉紅色的。

靖愷在衣著上暫時還算是任人擺佈。朋友告訴我，女孩子大了就會要求要自己配襯衣服。這倒是有趣，那日後為妹妹添衣就更具挑戰性了。

h&m is on sale and i couldn't resist buying some clothes for the now-naked baby in my tummy. she's just got one pink cardigan for the time being. hope pink will be one of the many colours that she sees in her life, and not the only one.

she

it takes too many miracles to be blessed with a healthy child. we did the fetal anomaly scan this morning and we're so relieved that things seem to be going fine for baby #2 so far.

and no male sex organs can be seen yet, so rafael should quite likely be having a baby sister.

i've been eyeing those cute dresses in the shops for a long time! hmm... i think i will have a busy time shopping in the coming months. :P

早上去照結構超音波，醫生說，小B的大小和器官都大致正常，而且暫時也看不到有男性特徵，看來靖愷要有個妹妹了。

我早就想買那些漂亮的裙子！是時候出動了。:P

sick

打敗仗，病倒了。低燒，38.2度。

從未試過這麼擔心自己生病的。急急帶上口罩，怕傳染給靖愷。接著翻書，確定一下輕微發燒不會對胎兒有太大影響。

靖愷說：媽媽，我唔想你病呀！你唔好病啦！

淚水就忍不住留下來。

小B這天又開始踢得明顯，好像在告訴我：媽媽，我還好。

看了醫生，吃了一顆退燒藥，熱退了，只剩一點點頭痛、喉嚨痛和鼻塞。

今早檢查，小B也一切正常。安心了。

the second time around

十七周，今天早上在檢查時聽到你的呼吸聲，安心了。

發現懷孕時只有五周，有些不穩跡象，第一次檢驗時還看不見心跳，於是告訴自己，就隨遇而安好了，作好最壞的打算，反正已經有了靖愷。

有個兩歲多的孩子，其實你靜下來的時間沒有很多，但是，偶爾一刻，你還是會忍不住擔心，肚裡的孩子可好？一日未感覺到肚內的拳打腳踢，總是害怕，會不會下次檢查時聽不見你在呼吸？

暫時一切都還順利，除了醫生說要留意一下飲食，怎麼四個月就重了六公斤？都怪兩個孩子都對我太好，不曾讓我吐過一次，吃的都全被我吸收了。

今天下午，隱約地，感到肚內有點動靜，好懷念的感覺呢。

things look fine for our #2 except that the mom gained too much weight than recommended. :P

thanks again for your blessings!

sibling

我們間中會問靖愷，喜不喜歡有弟弟或妹妹陪他玩。

爸爸最愛趁小人兒玩／吃得高興時問："你會不會和弟弟或妹妹分享你的車子／玩具／食物？"

天啊！怎樣還沒見到人，就要我跟他／她分享我的東西？

有一天，我擁著靖愷說："爸爸和媽媽都很愛靖愷，對不對？"

小人兒點點頭。

"如果靖愷有弟弟或妹妹，就有多一人愛你了，你說好不好？"

小人兒甜甜笑，親親我的肚皮。

還有六個月，靖愷要做哥哥了。

sometimes we ask rafael whether he wants to have a brother or sister.

dad's favourite questions is: will you be sharing your cars/toys/food with your brother or sister?

oh dear, are you asking an egocentric toddler to share his possessions with someone he has yet to meet!?

one night, i held rafael in my arms and said: mommy and daddy both love you so much, isn't it? and if you have a brother or sister, there will be one more person loving you. do you think it sounds nice?

6 more months to go, someone special will join the mackie's family.

bye bye maternity pants

i still have about 8 pounds to go to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but i can finally fit into some of my pre-pregancy pants and skirts! bye for now, maternity pants... well hope i will have the chance to wear you sometime in the future! : P

let's do some baby knitting!

i've been on maternity leave since jan 17 and having some much free time, apart from watching sex and the city again, and watching some vcds at home... i've also been knitting! and finally my first baby knitting set was finished on feb 1! can't wait to see little rafael wearing these on : )

portraits with rafael

we went to a studio to take some pregnant portraits on dec 27! see more pics here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/amymtam/sets/72157594451252074/detail/

it's a boy!

our private doctor has told me that she saw a "dern dern" on the ultrasound and guessed our baby might be a boy... but she wasn't sure at that time. and just one day after our honeymoon trip, we went to the public hospital for a 20-week scan, and oh yes, we see that little penis pretty clearly this time. we're having a boy and we've decided to call him rafael (mac has always wanted to call his son rafael since a long time ago!).

first family trip : )

we could finally go to honeymoon! though originally we wanted a bit more action to new zealand (skiing, rafting, bungy jumping... ) and we had to change our destination to tokyo and karuizawa because little rafael is here, it's been a great trip and we still did have some kind of action at disneyland tokyo! (yes, i tucked my tummy in and successfully went through the lines of the more "exciting" rides!)

first pic!

i actually did another pregnant test two days later and three days later (june 14, 2006) came my first appointment to the obstetrician. and yes, i saw on the first time in my life that there's a living being in my tummy - with his little heart beating and little body measuring 6.8 mm - on the ultrasound screen! calculating the first day of my last period (april 30), dr shu said that i should be now about 6 weeks pregnant and that the baby's due date is on feb 4, 2007!

counting back the days... it seems that the date of conception is around the time mama and papa got married!

(note: in case you couldn't find rafael, he's in the smaller black hole (the bigger one is my bladder) . wasn't he just like a tadpole at that time? )

june 11, 2006 - rafael was already here!

how come i feel so tired these days and need to sleep before midnight? how come i feel a bit nauseous when riding on the bus? and my period hasn't come for 6 weeks... would it be... ?

it is, according to the instruction manual on the pregnancy test kit! a little life is now in my tummy? i just can't believe it...